Freakin' people out!

So in the last week I have alienated..everyone...

I can tell cuz' people are trying to reach out to me.

Yet, I'm not really feeling open...

In fact, I may revert to my angry teenage angst and start listening to Tool, Pantera, Metallica and any other angry music...I may even add some dark eyed make-up. It could be an outlet for all the anger I have about my recent failures.

The hippie thing in the valley isn't working out so well...People seems to take advantage of those who are too nice..like me...

So I'm going to rough it up a bit.

It's funny a friend...my boss from starbucks..looked at me the other day and said...Your energy has really changed this week...Like you're happier...or something.

I can only imagine that I have been so miserable in my head...that I am projecting this sense of confidence and happiness...jesus!

I am still trying to find a place...trying to be satisfied with my new super lame deli job.

Fall is beautiful...I would love to go hiking...but being by myself only breeds more self-loathing.

Well, It's Friday..I am going to try to avoid the bar at all costs...yet I will have all afternoon to be tempted by it.

I know I should be thinking positive...doing positive and being positive...

but I don't feel like it....

I'm pissed...like in a mosh pit...who can I punch first...being a happy hippie is so passive/aggressive!

Anyway..people..I will be fine.

The light at the end of the tunnel has not shown itself yet and maybe in a month, when I am done moving in to my new place, have a little bit of cash...I will feel better.

But for now keep expectations low...I'm not making promises of the state of my mind..or these blogs....

Wow

kreature