So...In a manic sense of get me the hell away from everyone....

a friend gave me a simple offer...

sitting in a hot springs with a couple of cute boys.

At the time I wanted to resist, hide and run...

but once again I stood up brushed myself off and made a conscience decision to try again.

Not of course to try to impress anyone or even fit in....but just to handle new people and try to let my door open a little.

My girlfriend and I and her buds....enjoyed a old-school pub in Glenwood.

And we laughed and laughed at the two Cali boys...that had no idea they were really that funny.

I made no advances...no flirty looks...I just laughed....and realized how long it really had been since I laughed.

Then we poached a dirty little hippy hot springs....a half a block from the highway...I'm sure in the daytime it looks a bit dodgy...

However, last night it was the soak with a huge moon next to the river...that reminded me how small I really am in the universe.

Instead of trying to stick out, be a social butterfly...I just need to be me, which isn't always spectacular.

But I don't need to sell myself short...(such a contradiction)

My emotions have been out of hand...I worry cuz' I'm not so sure the birth control experiment is going very well....but crazy does run in my family...hopefully I can get a grip on it soon.

kreature