February...already?

It was a crash course into February...

My cousin who recently got married came into town for a ski weekend. It had been a long time, since him & I hung-out. We have had family events...but not a chance to see each other. I got to know his wife...who is perfect for him. He is a strong business man, just like his "old man", yet he is young and finds time to really let loose, or at least surrounds himself with people who do. I enjoyed their visit; it forced me to show off the valley and I made it the most it could be.

As soon as, his van drove away, the valley greeted me with a sense of sarcasm, "now what?"

Oh yes, now what? Now it is February, the first two weeks will be denying that it matters, being crushed when it sucks and another week trying to recover from this dreadful holiday.

It occurs to me that the last four, were humorous and planned. We were deliberate, no matter what the outcome.

I want to plan something for me...but the thought of that brings me back to him.

I could go somewhere, Boulder, Denver, hot springs....but they remind me of us. Not what I am looking for....another thing that makes my heart heavy.

So now what?

I hide,
hope for a date,
I run away...

now what?