Boy crazy.....

I don't know why it is happening...but I can't get past this feeling of being boy crazy...I want the attention...I want a connection.

So tonight is the auctioning off of the top five bachelorettes...I am not one of them.

I'm not sad...yet it still feels like a failure...

my life has not changed at all...maybe that is the problem.

My habits are starting to reappear...but more upsetting are the habits that have not become habits....but are slowly starting to become regular...

My insecurities are only adding to the issue.

I have to say though I have had more good days this month than bad....but I'm not so sure I'm learning from these experiences...it's just one day at a time and I am not truly making positive decisions or choices...I'm choosing purely on impulse, at the moment.

I used to be very analytical...now i'm impulsive...purely...

what an odd journey...the grass is always greener

kreature