So I know when the song..."here comes the sun" by the Beatles puts me in tears...it's not me!
Yesterday was a miserable day...cried for half the day and slept for the other half.
The simple stresses of a shitty roommate, friends who take more from me then they give and a heart that just won't stop hurting...brings me to yesterdays madness. These days still surprise me; just when I think I'm dealing...I shut down...
Today...I want to feel numb get some drinks and hang out with the bar fly's that have there own issues...
on these days I think of my mother...the alcoholic...she i'm sure had several days that felt like this...where she just didn't want to feel. She couldn't be with her kids, she rarely had the support of her family...and really she just wanted to get by.
My challenge is how do I cruise this line between alcohol addiction and just needing a bit of relief.
It's not fair that I choose to cruise the line...but I am too single and too lonely to hide in a room, where I feel locked away, when my roommate is here.
My patience is wearing thin....as always.
Kano; The more light you have, the better you can see what is trivial and outmoded in your own conditioning.
kreature
1 comment:
washington is here and waiting...love you girlfriend!
Post a Comment