Todays post revisted

Wow...I need to buck up a bit.

If all single people acted the way I do...there would be no sex in the city, no queer as folk and definately no reality dating shows!

I do need to refocus...that is no joke!

But time is another healer that I should have a bit more faith in.

People are reaching out to me, they may be far away, but they are still reaching out!

And the reality is this next month is going to fly by...so I should see this down time as a blessing.

Patience is a virtue...Thank-you for being patient with me.

Kreature

I'm losing ground...

I have no idea...why or how....

but I am regressing...

I can't get focused...

Getting up is a chore...everyday.

I feel like I can't do this

single and lonely....

I absolutley hate it...

I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel or the silver lining

I'm over it!

another whining post...shocking

Kreature

4th of july aftermath

I'm just plain sad.

The holiday brought a sad, lonely sense of singlehood.

Normaly we would have been celebrating our 4th year together....we were a month short.

I tried to find simple ways to enjoy the day...but no matter what I did I couldn't shake the loneliness.

I feel like I don't laugh as much or connect with others.

Now our phone conversations are...short and not always so sweet.

It makes me sad...But I need to own this sadness.

I will get through it....but I miss him...again today.

the harsh reality

I can't tell you how difficult the transition is from the peaceful wilderness to reality can be. When we returned to the the van after five days in the wilderness. Even the movement of the van was too much for us. Even the kids I had spent time with...told me I feel like we are moving too fast can you slow down? Then there is the radio it was almost overwhelming to be presented with such noise! I love music, but trying to adjust to all the new noises and sensations was difficult. One of the kids even got car sick going 30mpr.

Only an hour after reaching home all the weirds of reality...started to show...roomates drinking beer and sake, eating fried food. The phone call to remind me what I had left behind a few days earlier....a cell phone bill that needs to be payed.

While the rest you were getting on with your lives, I was able to pause mine...climbing, camping and creating memories with kids that will always stick with me.

The simplicity of life on trial...makes this reality seem unecessary...overbearing and harsh.

I know I will adjust... I always do.

But I can say now that I am glad I have a quiet trial to escape to.

love kreature